you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
