We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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