I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
