Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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