I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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