Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
