I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
