yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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