I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
