guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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