i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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