is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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