I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
