what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize