My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
