do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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