I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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