WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
