That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
