i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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