are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
