How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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