you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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