I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just forgot I was standing up.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
