Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My vagina is very pro this idea
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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