Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
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