Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
