if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
