3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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