So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
