i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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