I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
