So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
