hotel room ftw
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
