Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
