Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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