So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
sex in a hospital.. check
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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