big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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