you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
