You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
