I can tuck mytits in my pants
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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