if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
