I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize