Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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