So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
