The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
