I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
