Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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