Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
