I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
