you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
