you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just pee around me
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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