i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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