Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is Oprah even human
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
