the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
