I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize