I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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