The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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