I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
