I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize