just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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