This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
