I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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