My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
