I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize