The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
