I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize