Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
