The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
