Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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